The Emotional Stages of Writing a Book

Marley Betts
3 minutes ago
3 min read

Woman in glasses and pink sweater sits in a cozy book-filled room, looking down with a calm, tired expression, hands on a device. — Writing a book looks like this

Have you ever wanted to write a book? This post will take you through the common emotional stages of writing a book.

Of course, not everyone's emotional stages of writing a book are the same, but here's a glimpse into mine:

IDEA - Inspired
Come up with an idea - This is exciting!
PLANNING - Overwhelmed
Struggle with how to make the idea work and worry that you can't do it justice. Begin to plan, but it all feels too big and confusing. Become overwhelmed. Decide to just begin and wing it.
BEGIN - Satisfied
You have words on a page. This is exciting!
BOREDOM - Bored
Ugh, sitting down to write words on a page again. How boring.
FLOW - Energetic
You're in the flow. Look at you, you're a writer!
WANNABE - Self-loathing
You're not a writer. Your writing sucks. This project sucks. You suck.
EFFORT - Purposeful
This is hard work but you're pushing through. You've started; you may as well keep going.
WRITING - Joyful
This book is actually coming along. You have a good idea, and you're making it work. You're a writer!
CONQUERER - Confident
You're writing the next bestseller.
EFFORT - Frustrated
Writing is hard work, but you're turning up for it.
FAILURE - Critical
Your writing sucks. Your work sucks. You should give up and burn it all.
AVOIDANCE - Unmotivated
Avoid the work.
CYCLE - Everything
Flip randomly between Stages 4 to 11 until the first draft is complete
FIRST READ-THROUGH - Despair
It's hard to read what you've written through all the tears. This writing is awful. The idea is awful. You've wasted months of your life on this mess.
Writing despair looks like what this book feels like
SELF-EDITING - Hopeful
With alterations, your manuscript is better. You think it's salvageable.
FEEDBACK - Vulnerable
Send manuscript to your beta readers. Hope that they’re going to say it’s the next bestseller and tell you how amazing you are.
CRICKETS - Despair
Worry when you haven’t heard anything back from your betas. It's been three hours since you sent them your manuscript; you should have heard back by now.
RECEIVE POSITIVE FEEDBACK - Denial
Worry that they’re lying so they won't hurt your feelings.
RECEIVE NEGATIVE FEEDBACK - Agony
Think they’re harsh. Feel hurt and disappointed.
EDITING - Doubt and Reluctance
Make changes while wondering if you should scrap the whole thing and start again. Complete another edit and reluctantly send to the next lot of readers.
Repeat Stages 16-20.
PROOF COPY - Excited
You're holding the first copy of your book in your hands. This is exciting.
Proof copy excitement looks like this
READTHROUGH - Optimistic
Okay, your book isn't perfect, but could be pretty good with some tweaks.
EDITS - Anxious
Make the tweaks. Make a heap of minor tweaks. Undo minor tweaks. Redo minor tweaks. Undo again. Alternate between loving your work and thinking it should be a bestseller, then hating it and thinking you should destroy all evidence of it forever.
LAUNCH - Courageous
Your book is complete, and you set it out into the big, wide world. You are proud and hopeful.
RESULTS - Disappointed
Your book has been available for 24 hours and has only been purchased by you, your nan, and your best friend. You're an embarrassment and a failure. You are not a writer and it was ridiculous to ever think that you could be.
BOOK! - Proud and Satisfied
You wrote a book! If someone Googles your name, things pop up that are about you and your book. You set a goal and achieved it, and if you keep writing, you'll get better. All you need to do is keep writing, then eventually you will find your audience (or your audience will find you) and you will gain a readership and become a real writer.
INSPIRATION - Enthusiastic
You either have an idea or want to have an idea.
Begin again at Stage 1.