Death is Not Taboo: Talking and Reading About Death

I went to a funeral the other day, so allow me to get dark for a few minutes. Let's spend some time thinking, talking, and reading about death...

I love you, but you’re going to die, and so am I.

Yep

Western culture wants us to preface that by saying “but not for a long time yet,” or “we don’t need to worry about that”.

I'm not worried, and I don’t know when

and that’s okay

... but death is still coming for us.

I’m not being morbid or tactless,

I’m being real.

Death is uncomfortable,

but push through for me,

this is important.

We are dying.

I don’t tell you this so we can get our bucket lists ready and tick off that trip to Paris and the Great Barrier Reef dive.

All the funerals that I have been to haven't remembered people by the things they’ve ticked off their bucket lists.

People are remembered by their love for others.

Truly.

I work with death. I spend time with people in their final years, days, and hours. Death is real, and even though we all know that it is coming, it still tends to sneak up on us.

Life is brief.

I don't want you to panic. I mean, you know that you will need to go to the toilet at some point, but you don't walk around with a roll of toilet paper in your pocket. You plan accordingly.

At the recent funeral I attended, people spoke about this man's: reliability, trustworthiness, integrity, presence, genuineness, care, support, and generosity. He was someone who made time for people, who listened, and remembered what people said.

These are the qualities of a loving person.

Now, this man was also wealthy, well-traveled, and successful, but it was his steadfast presence, the time he had for others, his caring, generous nature, and his integrity that he will be remembered for.

So, what’s my point?

a) Consider death.

Give it time.

Think about it.

We will die, and although most of us hope not, it could be tomorrow.

Think about what happens after death and the implications that may have on your life right now. Let's not bury our heads in the sand.

b) Make your wishes known.

Where do you want your funeral held, who should be invited, do you want to be cremated or buried, what sort of coffin, what music should be played?

Oh, and make sure you have an up-to-date will.

Don't care because you'll be dead, so it won't matter? Well, think about the people who would be left with the task of making the decisions and arrangements for you. You may not care about what happens to your body or your stuff, but things still need to happen to them, and it takes a lot of pressure off your surviving loved ones if you make some decisions for them.

c) Love others.

Leave a lasting legacy of love. Make a positive difference. Infuse your work and creations with love. Exhibit qualities of a loving person.

This is our job here on earth: to love one another.

Make it your life's mission. This is what you will be remembered by.

Yes, it's fine to do that Paris trip, run that marathon, earn that million dollars, or climb that corporate ladder; those are great goals to have... BUT... none of those things have eternal significance.

Death is not taboo.

Talk about it. Read about it. Think about it.

Here are a few books about death that I have on my shelf:

• We're All Going to Die

  by Leah Kaminsky

• The Wheel of Life: A Memoir of Living and Dying

  by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

• The Grace in Dying: A Message of Hope, Comfort, and Spiritual Transformation

  by Kathleen Dowling Singh

• Time to Die

  by Rodnew Syme

  
  

Also, I have to point out that the most popular book in the world, The Holy Bible, is also about death and dying... but it's also about life!

Have you read any books about death and dying that you would recommend? Let me know in the comments!

Much love,

Marley